It's, without a doubt, an exhilarating feeling when your partner pops the question. Your first reaction is telling your loved ones the good news. Later, you begin to think when it's a good time for the wedding, the preparations and if everything will come together as expected. But have you and your partner discussed life as husband and wife? When it comes to future goals, are you both on the same page? Besides talking about the wedding, it's wise to discuss life as a married couple before moving forward.
Thanks to my first marriage, I learned certain topics were a "must" to discuss if I ever planned on remarrying. Years later when I did marry again, I already had a talk with my partner. A thorough discussion before marriage has brought us easier times.
For the most part, couples discuss life together before getting engaged or when they know their relationship is serious. But there are some people who I have met throughout my life who married based on a fantasy. Sadly, their marriages took a turn for the worse.
Here are 5 topics to discuss with your partner before taking the big step.
You should clear the air about your past. Many people have nothing to worry about, but some do. Ask yourself if there are any unresolved or unsettled issues that has potential of resurfacing in your marriage. The only thing you are trying to avoid is trouble later in your happy marriage.
Do you respect each other's goals? Are you both willing to support each other's goals? Are the goals easy to deal with as a married couple? If you can answer yes to any of these questions, you and your future spouse are willing to work as a team. If not, you should reevaluate the relationship.
Once married, you begin to save money towards a down payment for a house. When you have enough money saved, you and your spouse begin to househunt. You prefer one site while your spouse prefers another. You want to stay near family while your spouse wants a distant area. If the place of living was never discussed, tension will evolve in your marriage. Work towards a compromise that can make both of you content.
You know you want to become a parent, but are you certain about your partner? Your partner may have mentioned wanting children in the past but changed his mind not too long ago. If you do not bring up the topic just for reassurance, you will later receive the surprise of your life - your spouse wants no kids. Parenthood is not for everyone. Discuss this issue before walking down the aisle. Parenthood is an immense responsibility.
Oftentimes, money is the cause for problems in a marriage. For example, you make more money than your spouse so there are expectations of you paying more towards bills. You want to keep up your personal bank account but your spouse wants your money and his money joined. Your spouse wants control of the budget, but you feel confident in handling the budget. The talk of finance is important. You must have a financial plan in place with your partner so there are no unpleasant surprises later in the future.
Marriage is a serious commitment. Having a talk with your future spouse is a wise move. A talk can help avoid possible hardships.
Mayra Colón is a freelance writer, former independent author and avid reader. She holds a MBA from the University of Phoenix and completed the Freelance Writing and Selling Online course from Rutgers University of Arts and Sciences.