10 ways to rekindle the flame in marriage

How to sidestep the routine and reignite the fire in marriage.

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  • We all have challenges in relationships with our spouses. The years go by and the turmoil of life often leaves its mark. The daily routine and various responsibilities of each spouse can bring a coldness to the relationship. Staying close to each other, learning to talk and taking care of the marriage depend on the willingness of both partners. However, we often don't know what else to do in order to rekindle the flame that originally brought us together.

  • Here are a few tips on not letting the relationship cool down and fighting for a well-balanced love:

  • 1. Go on another honeymoon

  • Even amidst the busyness of life, plan a prolonged holiday trip or weekend getaway, close by or far way, that will help you to turn off the world for a bit. Leave the kids with someone you trust, and turn everything off — TV, phones and computers. Enjoy being together like you did on your first honeymoon.

  • 2. Talk to and date each other

  • Every day, set aside at least a few minutes before sleeping to look each other in the eye and talk about your day between hugs and kisses. Start each day the same way, discussing the day in front of you and going over schedules. This energizes the relationship for another day.

  • 3. Take care of yourself

  • Remember to always be clean, and smell fresh for those times you are able to spent short moments together. Create the moment by putting on some relaxing music and giving each other a little massage. Whatever brings you back to where it all started.

  • 4. Plan a weekly get together

  • It can be difficult, but try to be able to take a few hours a week for just the two of you. Planning activities that are fun, romantic, productive and that truly strengthen your marriage is essential in keeping the flame alive.

  • 5. Care and give

  • People strive to be better professionals, better friends and better parents. The same idea goes for being better husbands and wives. Communication is essential in this case. Know what your spouse likes and dislikes and use the knowledge to better yourself. This will improve the relationship as a whole every day.

  • 6. Be grateful

  • Daily discussions about household chores, paying bills on time, decision making and mutual recognition help maintain a peaceful yet lively life together.

  • 7. Have a good sense of humor and positive attitude

  • Living with a grumpy person doesn't make someone want to invest much in the relationship. Also, be sure to always bring up small problems with your spouse with good humor.

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  • 8. Be yourself and let your spouse be too

  • When we respect our spouse, we make room for him or her to be who he or she truly is, without bothering and attempting to change them, and they will always reciprocate.

  • 9. Respect your intimate relationship

  • There is no way to keep the flame alive without talking about the bedroom. Be sure that you understand each other in this aspect, respecting the desires of your partner, being selfless and not selfish, bringing together romance and desire.

  • 10. Give time and dedication

  • It has been said that l-o-v-e is spelled t-i-m-e. And isn't that right? We organize our time to the millisecond with professional activities, the kids' schedules, responsibilities and necessities. We always need to make sure to add our marriage and its well being to our list of priorities.

  • The flame doesn't burn out if both partners are doing their part, but instead it will mature and certainly create a love that is more safe, loyal and peaceful. No distraction is more important than that.

  • Translated and adapted by Vaughn Christensen from the article "10 formas de reacender a chama no casamento" by Chris Ayres.

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C. A. Ayres is a mother, wife, author and photographer, with background in Journalism and Psychoanalysis.

Website: http://caayres.com/

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