Marriage is the union of two people who are in love and have plans for a full life together that include goals, family, vacations, etc. Unfortunately, there sometimes exists a villain within all these plans and dreams — betrayal. Like a phantom, it affects many couples and disrupts an otherwise strong, peaceful marriage replacing trust with fear, distrust and anxiety.
Betrayal is something that no couple ever wants to go through, as it is always painful for everyone involved. This is a game where there are no winners.
After learning about an affair or betrayal, many couples have said that they found out that something (or many things) had changed in their relationship. Here are some signs to look for if you suspect that your spouse is having an affair.
Your eyes are the window to the soul. If your spouse is having an affair, he often won’t make direct eye contact with you. The sparkle in his eyes changes or is nonexistent. Not looking at you at all is another sign.
The lack of interest in talking with you about day-to-day things, resolving problems or even losing interest in goals you have made together.
Lack of desire for intimacy
This can be attributed to several issues (daily routines, work and children), but it can also be a sign that your spouse is spending time with someone else.
Lots of betrayals and affairs begin on the computer. Pay attention to how long he is on the computer and the internet late at night and when he isn’t working. Hiding and changing email passwords and hiding emails are big signs. Also, watch his reaction when you unexpectedly enter the room where he is using the computer.
Arriving home late or disappearing for long periods
When he says he will arrive at a certain time and he frequently doesn’t and fails to provide a valid reason. Or he frequently says something like, “I’m going to the ATM, I will be back soon,” and he doesn't return for long time.
One indication of potential infidelity is if he rarely (or never)never answers his cell phone when you call. When you are together and his cell phone rings, see if he immediately leaves the area to talk.
If he randomly comes home with flowers or random acts of kindness without an explanation. This could mean that he feels guilty about something.
Be aware if your budget suddenly isn’t working out. You might notice large, unexplained expenses that he either claims he knows nothing about or shows a lack of emotion about.
You are constantly fighting over everything — even seemingly small things that were never an issue before. Suddenly, he complains about everything, has little patience and is often angry when he comes home. This could me that he is attempting to justify his behavior by blaming problems on the person he is betraying.
Love (or the lack of)
He doesn’t kiss you, hug you, or show his affection for you, or rarely says “I love you.”
These are just some signs that could indicate that he is possibly having an affair, but not always. Lots of couples could be going through a crisis or some problems. Unfortunately, affairs and betrayals often start because of a crisis with the relationship such as financial issues. Do what you can to save your marriage, but be careful, never judge, and don’t make the mistake of becoming paranoid. If you suspect an affair, don't guess, be certain about the situation before you make any decisions.
Carla Alves is a Brazilian mother of two and wife. She likes good books about all kinds of subjects especially those related to family. She loves to read and write and to be with her husband and children.