Say what? The top 10 silly questions

Have you ever wondered how to respond to a question that is so ridiculous it should never have been asked? Here is a list of the top 10 silly questions and how you can respond if asked.

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  • They say the only stupid question is the one that doesn't get asked, but I beg to differ. Aside from "Who's buried in Grant's tomb?," there are actually 10 questions that are so ridiculous that they don't warrant a response. That being said, I feel it my civic duty to give a response equal to the question that thereby the person might just consider never asking it again.

  • And now, drumroll, please:

  • 10. The 'are you seriously asking me that?' geographic population improbability question:

  • Q

  • "Oh, you're from California? Do you know (insert some insanely common surname here)?"

  • A

  • "The Smiths? Of course I know them. They said that if I ever met you to tell you "hello" from them and to give them a big hug." (then proceed to squeeze)

  • 9. The 'our family size is our business' question

  • Q

  • "You have 12 kids? How many do you want?"

  • A

  • "Only one. Do you have any idea how to stop this from happening?"

  • 8. The 'quick, call the doctor' question

  • Q

  • "When are you due?"

  • A

  • "I've been ordered by the mother ship commander not to disclose that information."

  • 7. The 'didn't your mother teach you any manners?' question

  • Q

  • "So, how old are you?"

  • A

  • "I'm (add 45 years to your real age here). I'm testing a new anti-aging cream."

  • 6. The 'other side of the age' question

  • Q

  • "So, how old do you think I am?"

  • A

  • "Would you like for me to answer that in metric or American standard?"

  • 5. The 'I will have your head on a platter' question

  • Q

  • "So, what did you do all day?" (asked to a wife)

  • A

  • Give a 45-minute answer, leaving out no details. Include every question the children asked, every butt you wiped, every Band-aid you put on. Start with, "I opened my eyes, I stretched, I went to the bathroom, I washed my face ..."

  • 4. The 'can you possibly still believe that?' question

  • Q

  • "Oh, you're a Mormon? How many wives do you have?"

  • A

  • Begin reciting every female scriptural name you can think of (start with these: Ruth, Naomi, Rebekah, Esther, Sarah, Leah, Hannah, Mary, Elisabeth, Zilpah, Rachel, Rhoda, Jezebel, Delilah, Martha, Jemima, Hagar, Dinah, Dorcas and Abigail) until they walk away.

  • 3. The 'when was the last time you had your eyes checked' question

  • Q

  • "Are your twins (boy and girl) identical or fraternal."

  • A

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  • "Fraternal. Their father is a cross-dresser."

  • 2. The 'weather lunacy' question

  • Q

  • "Is it hot enough for you?"

  • A

  • "Not nearly. I usually summer on Venus."

  • And the number one silly question is ...

  • 1. The 'you can't really be asking me that?' question

  • Q

  • "Do you want me to pull this car over right now?"

  • A

  • "Oh, do, yes. We could use a good beating to break up the monotony of all this silly sibling bickering and fighting."

  • And now, the bonus question. I know you weren't expecting more than 10, but I simply can't resist. "So, what did you think of these questions?"

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Becky Lyn is an author and a 35+ year (most of the time) single mom.

Website: http://www.beckytheauthor.weebly.com

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