Is your house a home?

A home is more than just a house. It takes a family working together to create an atmosphere of love and caring. This article will help you discover how this can be done.

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  • The game of baseball has a very interesting objective, you must journey to each of the bases in the field (first base, second base, and third base) but must return to home base safely. The team that makes that journey the most times wins the game. You can walk to home, run to home, or slide into home; it doesn’t matter how you get there you must make it there safely and when you do the hometown fans cheer. And look at the expression of joy on the face of the one making it safely to home plate.

  • A long time ago, there was a radio show "House Party" hosted by Art Linkletter. During part of every show he interviewed children of various ages, often with funny results and sometimes great wisdom came from those young people. One such memorable interview went as follows:

  • Linkletter: “Where do you live?” Young boy: “We just moved here and we live in a motel.” Linkletter: “Then you don’t have a home.” Young boy: “Oh, Mr. Linkletter, we have a home; we just don’t have a house to put it in.”

  • This young boy experienced a feeling of belonging, a sense of love and safety we wish everyone could have in their life.

  • A trick question with a point

  • When couples come to therapy it is because they are having problems and rather than coming early in their upset times it is often their last resort. After finding out the reasons they are there and the story of how they met, one question asked: “Where is your home?” They will immediately answer with the location or address of their house.

  • In order to make the point, the question is repeated with the added statement, “Trick question.” The point is, home is where they are and it can be in a car, motel, tent or any location. They need to realize that the parents create the atmosphere and feeling they and their family experience when they’re together. The young boy in the story above clearly made the point. Each married couple needs to understand the importance of what a home means in their life and in the lives of their children.

  • How do you help make a house a home?

  • Here are a few suggestions on creating a home.

  • Home is a place of respect

  • It is important that as a couple you treat each other with great respect and kindness. This is seen and felt by all who are around you, be it at home or in public. Respect and kindness are expected for and by the children, as well. No matter what you demand, if the example is not there, the statement of, “How can I hear what you are saying when what you are doing is thundering in my ears,” governs what is repeated in your home.

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  • Home is a place of values

  • There is strength when each person knows what they stand for — to know it has truth and value as well as being lawful. Home equips each family member with a yard stick by which to measure their actions and beliefs. It is a place each learns about faith in God and what He expects of each of us. The value of work is taught and each does their part to keep the home functioning. At home we gain the foundation we stand on. The Boy Scout Law states, "A scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent." This is a great set of values for any home.

  • Home is a place of safety

  • It is a place where you can share thoughts, dreams and experiences and know they will be respected. Home is a place where you know someone has your back. It is a place of trustworthy and loyal family members. Each knows the personal responsibility to live within the family values and need to be accountable for their own actions.

  • Home is a place of fun

  • . Along with all the serious parts of life, a home is balanced with a goodly measure of true fun. True fun is where family members find enjoyment with each other and never at the expense of another. Each knows they will be cared for, so fun is also safe.

  • Take a look at your home

  • Are there changes you need to make your house into a home? Look to see what you can do to improve the atmosphere of your home. Making a house a home is an active process, it doesn’t just happen. The course is charted by the parents with each child playing his or her part. When a house is really a home you will see expressions of joy on the faces of all who make it “safely home.”

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Gary Lundberg is a licensed marriage and family therapist. Joy is a writer. Together they author books on relationships.

Website: http://garyjoylundberg.com

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