5 ways to help your wife feel beautiful

Helping your wife feel beautiful will put a light in her eyes, and yours.

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  • Those words, "Honey, you look beautiful," are music to every woman's ears. Have you said them lately to your wife? When she takes the time to get all fancied up for a night out, be generous with your compliments. She's yearning to hear them. Does she have to ask, "How do I look?" or do you tell her before she has the chance? A compliment sought for isn't nearly as fun as one that comes spontaneously from the lips of her life-time lover. Reward her efforts with your praise and adoration; the payoff will be well worth it.

  • But what about when she's not all gussied up and ready to have a night on the town? Every woman wants to feel beautiful even when she knows she's just her ordinary self. She shouldn't have to be all made up to merit a compliment from the one she loves.

  • So how do you help your everyday best friend feel beautiful? Here are a few tips:

  • 1. Start the day with a compliment

  • When you wake up in the morning and see her tangled hair, cherish the look and think how blessed you are to be by her side. Touch her cheek and tell her how cute she is, and mean it. You are one lucky man to have this woman in your bed, so let her know it.

  • 2. Notice what you especially admire about her looks and tell her

  • What attracted you to her in the beginning? Was it her beautiful eyes? Tell her how you were enchanted by them then and that looking into her eyes still makes your heart skip a beat. Or is it her smile? Let her know and you'll get even more of them.

  • 3. If she rejects your compliment, persist

  • What if you tell her she's pretty and she says, "No I'm not. You're just making that up." What then? Persist. A man opened up about the time he told his wife she had cute ankles. Her reply was, "Look up and you'll see how fat I am." He was crushed. He said, "I was being sincere. She does have cute ankles. Why couldn't she just accept my compliment without berating herself?" He asked, "What does a guy do when that happens?" We suggested to him that he simply ignore her berating of herself and persist by saying, "Did you hear me, honey? You have cute ankles - you always have and you still do, and I love that about you." Then give her a hug. We have found that husbands can derail any self-deprecation their wives may be dishing out by persisting in making sure she heard his compliment, and by not getting caught up in her self-insults. She'll love you for it.

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  • 4. Stop ogling other women

  • If you often look at and comment on how beautiful other women are you need to change your focus. Women have a hard enough time trying not to compare themselves with other more beautiful women. They can easily feel less than beautiful to the man they love if he pays too much attention to other women and comments on their beauty, or keeps staring at them. A harmless glance at a pretty woman won't hurt anyone; it's the "paying too much attention" that will hurt your wife and make her feel less than beautiful to you. All ogling must be in the direction of your wife.

  • 5. Brag about her to others

  • If she's not there when you say it, someone will tell her and she'll love it. If she hears you say it with her own ears, she'll adore you all the more for it. A friend of ours, who had been married many years to a woman he adored, let everyone know how he felt about her. We were at a party sitting next to them and saw him looking at his wife during our conversation. He broke into the chatting and simply said, "Isn't she cute?" By the look on her face we could tell she loved it. This woman was quite overweight. He didn't seem to notice. We had known them for a long time, and it never changed, even though her size did. He simply adored her and he let the world know.

  • Start immediately

  • Start today by giving your wife at least one sincere, specific compliment. It can be about her hair, how cute she looks in her new jeans (or her old ones), or how much you enjoy hearing her sing as she works around the house. Take advantage of every opportunity to sincerely compliment her. Specific compliments let her know that you are noticing and will help her feel beautiful, inside and out.

  • A little tip for wives

  • When your husband gives you a compliment, take it. Thank him. Don't diminish it. Revel in it and let him know you heard him and appreciate it. By doing this you become even more beautiful in his eyes. Lastly, do your best to look good by taking care of your hair, wearing flattering clothes, and smiling. Keeping a happy attitude does wonders in making a person beautiful. Give your husband the best chance to see how beautiful you are at home or wherever you may be.

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Gary Lundberg is a licensed marriage and family therapist. Joy is a writer. Together they author books on relationships.

Website: http://garyjoylundberg.com

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