How to talk to your spouse about God after a loss of faith
God is a delicate topic to discuss – especially with a spouse who has lost his faith. When I first met my husband, we shared the same religious views. He never questioned God. Until one day, a horrible incident changed it all.
God is a delicate topic to discuss – especially with a spouse who has lost faith. When I first met my husband, we shared the same religious views. He never questioned God. Until one day, a horrible incident changed it all.
It was one early morning, I asked my husband not to attend a softball game. He asked me why and I responded I just had uneasy feeling in my heart. He gave me a kiss on the forehead as to console me and left for his game. I prayed that the heavy feeling would subside. I prayed that he would be all right.
An hour later, the phone rings and it’s my husband. He just suffered a serious eye injury. A fly ball hit the ground and bounced up to his eye leading to a broken eye socket. My husband believed he had lost sight in his left eye forever. He was angry with God. He asked why God was punishing him. Why was this happening to him? Why do bad things happen to good people?
My husband remained home for three months after surgery. I took advantage of the time we had alone to address his anger towards God. I asked my husband what happened to the faith he once had. Why would he go against God? He had no reply. I could see the frustration and confusion in his facial expressions.
I explained to him that God does not punish his children, and he is definitely not punishing him. I explained God doesn’t give his children more than they can handle. We endure tough moments in our lives as life lessons. These are the times we need to have faith in our God. We need to believe in him, trust in him and hold on to the strength he instilled in each and every one of us. My husband didn’t argue, but didn’t agree either. I knew he was trying hard to believe in God again, but unfortunately, my words alone were not enough.
Below are a few activities my husband and I engaged in to help bring back his faith:
Visiting church or temple
When you visit God’s home, you have all the time in the world to speak to him on a one to one basis without interpretations, without judgments, without fear. During the visits to God’s home, my husband made that connection with God. He had the opportunity to speak to God about his accident, his frustrations and anything else on his mind.
Set a specific time to read scriptures alone or together
If you do not have a bible at home, visit the library or search for scriptures online. Read on God. Pray to God. In my particular case, I read many scriptures to my husband during his recovery.
During these discussions, a person gains knowledge and understanding of God and understanding of faith based on the personal experiences being shared. We may not all believe in the same God, but we believe in a God. Spiritual group discussions help the mind, body, soul and open up our hearts to what God wants for us.
My husband eventually regained his sight and he regained his faith in God. He was receptive to the group discussions, reading the scriptures and visiting church — just the two of us. He asked God for forgiveness. And to this very day, he receives the good and bad with open arms with the knowledge that God is by his side at all times.
Mayra Colón is a freelance writer, former independent author and avid reader. She holds a MBA from the University of Phoenix and completed the Freelance Writing and Selling Online course from Rutgers University of Arts and Sciences.