Bad lip-reading our way out of the good communication

Sometimes we can be guilty of misunderstanding what others are saying to us based on a number of things. We need to stop bad lip-reading and really listen.

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  • You don't have to be a pop star to be misunderstood. This kind of guessing at what someone is saying — and we all guess at times so we can hear what we want to hear — plagues all of us in our communication, from spouses to parents and children. If the singers in this video can bore us with a list of the things they consumed in the last week, just think what the same kind of "bad lip-reading" can do to our communication with friends and family.

  • I think we are all, at times, guilty of this sort of miscommunication in our own lives with the people who matter most to us.

    • What he said: Are you sure you want to wear that tonight?

    • What he meant: We're going to be doing a lot of running around. Will that be comfortable for you?

    • What she heard: That makes you look fat and I'm embarrassed to be seen with you dressed like that.

  • While she may have been watching his lips say this, the noise in her head was drowning out what he was really trying to communicate.

    • What she said: Mom, I don't feel well. I think I need to stay home from school. I need you to stay home with me.

    • What she meant: Mom, I said something stupid about someone and it's all over the school and I can't face it. I need help figuring this out.

    • What mom heard: I've got a test today and I'm not prepared. I need to skip and I'll make it up later.

  • Maybe mom had tried this tact when she was in school and that's what she "lip" read into it. We can't let our own past misdeeds influence our opinion of others.

    • What she said: Why don't we run away and tie the knot? I'm ready.

    • What she meant: I really love you. I can't think of anyone I'd rather wake up with in the morning. What are we waiting for?

    • What he heard: My biological clock is ticking away and you're the best shot I have at having a family. I'm just willing to settle for you because there's nothing better on the horizon.

  • We can't assume others' insecurities any more than we can let our own insecurities put a black cloud over what may be real, good, and true.

    • What she said: Everything's fine. I'm just a little tired.

    • What she meant: This day has been ridiculous. The kids are horrible. I just want to go to my room and read some Jane Austen. Will you take over for me?

    • What he heard: Everything's fine. I'm just a little tired.

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  • OK, maybe sometimes we do read lips accurately but take them at face value. Occasionally we need to read beyond what is being said and invest a little more into the relationship.

  • I could make a thousand YouTube bad lip-reading videos with the crazy conversations I've misunderstood. I'm trying to better myself in that area and not read into things. I'm trying to give the benefit of the doubt, or ask for clarification.

  • Don't let yourself get caught in a bad lip-reading video with the ones you love. But then again, if you do, you might get to sing about hot jumping beans with Rascal Flatts! (watch the video!)

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Becky Lyn is an author and a 35+ year (most of the time) single mom.

Website: http://www.beckytheauthor.weebly.com

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