Make time to make love: How to make sex a priority in your marriage

Making love is an important part of a happy marriage. It also has many health benefits. Regular sex can improve your health and your marriage at the same time.

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  • Sometimes we need a reminder: Sex within marriage is a good thing.

    Making love is an important part of a happy marriage. It's also good for your health. According to WebMD, regular sex has many health benefits, from burning calories and improving your heart, to lowering stress and blood pressure while boosting immunity and self-esteem. Regular sex can improve your marriage and your health at the same time.

    Yet, too often, we allow the busyness of life to push us apart, and physical intimacy sinks to the bottom of our priority list. With a little attention, we can move it back to the top of the list.

  • Make a date

    If you and your spouse have not made love this month, then spontaneity might not be working for you. Choose a date in the near future that works for both of you. Put it on the calendar with a big, red heart around it.

  • Build anticipation

    For women, foreplay begins long before we hit the bedroom. Use the time leading up to your date to build anticipation.

    • Cuddle on the couch when you watch TV.

    • Hold hands, hug a little more often, and kiss each other good night if you've fallen out of the habit.

    • Call your husband and let him know you're looking forward to your date night.

    • Send sweet or sexy texts. Technology is a wonderful thing. My husband resisted getting a cell phone for years. After becoming a small business owner, he finally caved and bought one. I took advantage of it. After I had sent him a couple of steamy texts, he came home and said, “Boy, I never thought I'd say this, but I sure love cell phones!”

    • The personal touch is also appreciated. You can leave love notes next to your spouse's keys, in her lunch bag, or on her pillow. You could also write messages on the bathroom mirror with lipstick or a dry-erase marker. Remember to ramp up the spice as you get closer to your date.

  • Get in the mood

    That's right, ladies. You don't have to start out in the mood — you just have to find a way to get there. Women need time to transition from their “mom” role to their “wife” role. Men, offer to clean the kitchen or put the kids to bed for her while she takes a relaxing bath.

    In the article, “Men: Want More Sex? Do the Laundry!” CBSNews.com referred to several studies that suggest that men doing housework is a kind of aphrodisiac for women. Women, jump in the shower to wash away the worries of the day so you can focus on your husband. Slip into a soft nightie that makes you feel feminine, pretty, and sexy. Dim the lights or light some candles, and put on some mood music.

  • Enjoy the moment

    Clear your mind of work, kids, household duties, and errands that need to be done. Women, sex is not a chore or an item to be checked off your to-do list. It is a gift from your husband and his best and favorite way to show you how much he loves you. Men, it is not a race to the finish line. It is your best and favorite time to show your wife how much you love her. Make the most of it.

  • Play the remembering game

    The next day, while you're still basking in the glow from the night before, tell each other what you enjoyed the most. Share how your spouse made you feel. Reminiscing is a way to prolong the positive feelings from the night before and helps build enthusiasm for the next time.

  • Repeat

    Again, and again, and again. And again.

    With a little effort, you can enjoy a happier, more intimate marriage as part of a happier, healthier life. Now make that date. Hmm, it looks like Friday may be open.

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Shelli Howells is a creative fiction writer, and a mother of six.

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