I love the love. I revel in the red hearts and luscious flowers; the beauty of sweeping romantic gestures that define Valentine’s Day. Before you rush out to buy those long-stemmed, red roses or sew that monogrammed bathrobe — although I am certainly not discouraging the practice — you might take a moment to assess whether that act of kindness will speak of your love to your love.
,author Gary Chapman, PhD. describes languages that speak to the heart. He says that many genuine acts of love and kindness go unappreciated, because the message didn’t translate to fill the needs of the recipient. The five primary love languages, according to Dr. Chapman, are:
Acts of service
Words of affirmation
All are valuable and helpful, but have you heard of the Platinum Rule? It states, "Do unto others as they would like to have done unto them." In other words, give them what they want. It seems most people have two primary love languages. Many women have appreciated being taken to a nice dinner, but what they were hungry for was quality time with their loved one, or kind words without biting sarcasm, dismissive comments or unnecessary judgments.
And a husband might appreciate an elaborately prepared handmade gift, but what really says love might be a massage or positive feedback on a project. See if you can identify the love languages of your spouse, partner, friends and children. Ask them what makes them feel loved.
Here are a few ideas for Valentine gifts that can show your love.
Acts of service
Paint that bathroom that’s been waiting too long.
Give him or her a night off to do something with friends or just some me time.
Share a good meal.
Take over one of his or her chores.
Get a massage book and give a good massage to help your loved one de-stress.
Hold hands as you walk together.
A hand on the shoulder, a pat on the back, a long hug (my teen says wrestling).
Wash their hair. Many women feel calm when their heads are touched.