Happy together! Staying faithful to your spouse

There are two types of infidelity in this world, emotional and physical. If you engage in either of these, it's time to stop and make things right.

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  • At one point in time or another most people, yourself included, will start to drift into the infidelity territory. You may be feeling outraged after reading that sentence but it’s the truth. I know that you are already thinking, "I have never been physically intimate with someone other than my spouse.” That’s when I say to you, that’s fantastic. But can you tell me that you have never committed emotional infidelity? Oh, that’s right, there are two types of fidelity when it comes to a relationship or a marriage, emotional and physical.

  • Emotional infidelity

  • What is it? Simple, it’s when your thoughts and emotions are focused on someone that is not your spouse. Don’t be ridiculous and say, “Well I think about my sister all the time” and think that you are committing emotional infidelity on your spouse. At times, you could find yourself being more emotionally attracted to your boss because he might listen and sympathize better than your husband. This is an example of emotional infidelity.

  • One thing about emotional infidelity is that people don’t realize is that it is a very gradual process that people go through. You may be hanging out with a person of the opposite sex and you think that you are just becoming friends. That’s all fine until you start to rely on that man or woman more than your spouse for emotional support. Another red flag that you are not being emotionally faithful to your spouse is when you start to complain or talk negatively about your spouse to that person.

  • How to be emotionally faithful

  • I understand just as much as the next person that spouses can be extremely frustrating! But when I feel that way toward my husband, I tell that to his face and not my best friend Cody. Talking about your frustrations with your spouse can be downright upsetting and hard to do. But that’s what comes with the territory of being married, you get to talk about things with each other that are going to be hard, and most likely hurt each other’s feelings.

  • When you find your thoughts and emotions drifting away from your spouse, start remembering the good things. You need to remember that your spouse is there for you emotionally and will support you to the best of his or her abilities. They might not get it right every time, but take the time to recognize that they are trying.

  • Redirect your mind toward your spouse in a positive, loving way so you don’t allow yourself to drift into something that will end up with you wanting to be with someone else. If this doesn't work for you, then it's time for you and your spouse to seek some professional help. I say that to you because once you become emotionally detached from your spouse, you might find yourself committing adultery.

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  • Physical infidelity

  • Physical infidelity (adultery) is one of the most blatant forms of infidelity. If you enter adultery on dictionary.com the definition says "voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse." But even with this clear of a definition people think that undressing an attractive individual with their eyes, indulging in sexual fantasies with someone famous mentally, or even having online affairs is physical infidelity.

  • Adultery has become so rampant, that in 2010 an ethnicity study was conducted on both males and females to show the world that there is a problem.

  • How can you prevent physical infidelity?

  • Let's talk about how you can prevent yourself from physical infidelity. Can you recognize the difference between lust and love? Do you know that your body and your mind will be battling each other all the time over physical infidelity?

  • What you need to realize is that your body will have some type of reaction when you see, smell or hear something that is attractive to you. It's your body, you can't help that. But what you can control is your mind. Start to train yourself to recognize when you are lusting, or having inappropriate thoughts about someone who is not your spouse.

  • When you feel yourself starting to think about that very attractive sales clerk helping you find something in the store, stop yourself immediately. Say to yourself, "OK, what I'm feeling right now is lust. This is inappropriate." Then fill your mind with a minimum of five different qualities about your spouse that you love about him or her. Those five things can be anything, physical, emotional or even something that he or she did that morning that was hilarious.

  • If all else fails, and you find yourself having a hard time with redirecting your thoughts/emotions away from people that aren't your spouse, go seek professional help immediately.

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Lindsey has a bachelor's degree in Eng. Ed. She taught high school in Las Vegas (Eng. honors and yearbook). She now owns/runs a restaurant with her husband called Dave and Cranky Chuckie's. 

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