Sadness is a feeling often associated with the pain that follows a loss, such as the loss of a loved one, health, money or even a dream. Sometimes, conflicts with others, stress and frustrations can generate unhappiness.
Of course, no one is free from sadness. It is imperative, however, that feeling down doesn’t become the dominant feeling throughout your days and weeks. There are a few attitudes that can help protect you from experiencing chronic grief.
1. Sorrow is introspective
and can be a good thing. Sorrow is only positive if it is a tool for personal analysis to determine how you can change for the better.
2. Focus on strategies, goals, and actions
to change whatever burden with which you are weighed down. Positive changes bring personal satisfaction and increase self-esteem.
3. Accept that some things cannot change
and change your goals and dreams accordingly, despite the sadness. Say to yourself, "If I cannot do anything about my present situation, what good is it to hold this grief inside me?"
4. You must desire to free yourself
from apathy and inactivity. If, however, you feel like you are unable to do so by yourself, seek professional help as soon as possible. Depression is a serious condition that requires treatment.
5. Value the silver lining in the dark cloud
Even in extreme suffering, great lessons can be learned. Seek to emphasize and recognize the positive aspects in both situations and people.
6. Stop worrying so much about what others think
and worry more about what you think of yourself. Use the criticisms you receive to personally analyze yourself instead of letting it weaken your self-concept. Discover your own image instead of allowing others to define it for you.
7. Grow with your pain
Don’t stagnate because of feelings of revolt and hurt. Choose to learn from your experiences and move on. In the words of Carlos Drummond de Andrade: “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”
8. Never be the victim
Do not even think about it. The victim’s role is a degrading one, destroying your self-esteem. Assume your responsibilities and act, even if there are some things that still bother you.
9. Always be an optimist
Develop a vocabulary full of positive and motivational words.
10. Keep realistic goals
and do not waste your time with dreams that are impossible to realize. Yes, it is important to push yourself, but it is just as important to be realistic.
Be sure to be unceasingly grateful. Gratitude is a powerful attitude which combats feelings of depression. It forces your mind to think about the good things in life rather than the negative ones. Always thank God or whatever name you use in communion with the Supreme Being. Show gratitude the moment you awake and continue with an attitude of gratitude throughout the day as you witness the infinite beauty and blessings of the Earth.
Suely is a conflict counselor, an educator and has a MBA in Strategic People Management. She's the host of the program "Deixa Disso," which offers relationships advice. She has also published two books, “Uma fênix em Praga” and, “Mediando Conflitos no Relacionamento a Dois”.