Most men, upon taking the sacred vow, step into a landmine of potential explosions which can easily detonate by a single misleading word or misunderstanding. No marriage manual covers every situation but if a husband is interested in staying out of the dog house, a good guideline would be to simply avoid the following 10 comments entirely.
1. "Are you expecting?"
Honestly, it amazes me how many times this etiquette no no occurs. A slight weight gain or protrusion of the tummy area does not justify anyone to ask such a question. When a woman is expecting, it is her prerogative and privilege to announce the impending news...especially to her husband.
These words should only be spoken as a compliment, because if the intent is anything else, it could determine where he sleeps that night.
3. "You look good, but you're no Jennifer Lopez!"
It is never appropriate to restrict praise or make it conditional, especially if he's no Tom Cruise. Perhaps if he wanted J-Lo, he should have married her in the first place.
4. "Have you tried putting the spoons in upside down in the dishwasher?"
A good husband should never give instruction for any job his wife does regularly. Even if his suggestion is good, it won't be appreciated. The same rule applies to women - except for backseat driving. The safety of her entire family is dependent upon it.
5. "Are you really going to eat all that?"
When a woman hears this comment, she instantaneously wants to eat twice as much. A man should ask himself, is that really his goal?
6. "By the way Honey, I've invited the boss and his wife for dinner tonight."
As a general rule, women don't like surprises unless it comes in a little velvet box or in the form of a weekend getaway to the coast. Making this announcement could roughly be compared to a woman saying to her husband, "By the way Honey, I invited my mother over to declutter your man cave."
7. "If I had known we were having broccoli for dinner tonight, I would have stayed at work."
This comment only gives a woman more reason to serve broccoli. A good rule to follow is whatever is on the table when he gets home is exactly what he was hoping for.
8. "My (fill in the blank - ex-girlfriend, ex-wife, mother) makes the best blueberry pie ever!"
Those days are over dear, move on. I can assure you, she doesn't want to hear about it.
9. "Don't you want to do your hair before we leave?" Or, "Is that really what you're going to wear tonight?"
Men should know that on most days, their multi-tasking wives get more accomplished by noon than he likely gets done all day. The last thing a woman wants is her better half needlessly draining her confidence. One friend has taken to reminding her husband, "A lesser woman could not have done as much."
No, no, no gentlemen. She never looks fat. Ever. There are more diplomatic and peace preserving ways to address the situation, such as, "In my opinion, the navy blue skirt is more slimming." Or, "You always look wonderful to me."
The most important guideline in a marriage is to remember that kindness is critical. This is our forever partner, the love of our life, our best friend! We should never do or say anything that might hurt their feelings, embarrass them or cause them to pull away from us.
Fortunately, men can learn to navigate the tenuous paths of marital bliss. By avoiding these ten serious blunders, he will have the confidence to bypass an assortment of potential setbacks and become the husband she always wanted.