Navigating the Eeyores in your life

Have you ever had a friend in your life that is somewhat of an Eeyore?"Good morning, Eeyore," said Pooh. "Good morning, Pooh Bear," said Eeyore gloomily. "If it is a good morning, which I doubt," said he. "Why, what's the matter?

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  • Have you ever had a friend in your life that is somewhat of an Eeyore?

  • "Good morning, Eeyore," said Pooh. "Good morning, Pooh Bear," said Eeyore gloomily. "If it is a good morning, which I doubt," said he. "Why, what's the matter?" "Nothing, Pooh Bear, nothing. We can't all, and some of us don't. That's all there is to it." "Can't all what?" said Pooh, rubbing his nose. "Gaiety. Song-and-dance. Here we go round the mulberry bush."

  • They wander rather aimlessly through life being acted upon rather than acting themselves. Their outlook is generally gloomy and gray. They expect the worst and are generally never let down.

  • If one is not careful, one could wind up in their vortex, having the life sucked out of one's self.

  • We must adopt a little Pooh into our characters if we are to successfully navigate through our relationships with the Eeyores and still maintain any sort of a positive outlook.

  • I've thought a lot in my dime store psychologist persona about these people and one thing I've learned is that I am sometimes a little envious:

    • If you go through life thinking the worst will always happen, when it does, it is no real surprise or tragedy.

    • Just think about what a delight it must be when things go right.

    • People are always trying to cheer you up, so you are generally surrounded by smiling faces, flowers, balloons, and thinking-of-you cards.

  • Not such a bad lot in life.

  • Their influence on you, however, can sometimes take its toll

    • If you happen to be going through tough times, your outlook can be exacerbated exponentially by hanging out with an Eeyore.

    • Sometimes, you reach the saturation point of negativity and, despite your best efforts, it may begin to mute your own bright colors.

    • You may find that your other friends will alienate you when you are in the company of this person.

    • You may feel depleted from time to time because your best efforts are never enough to cheer them.

  • Here are some tips to make your friendship continue to work

    • Understand that just as cheerful may be your comfort zone, melancholy may be theirs. Neither is wrong. They are just using their own individual coping strategies and that's OK.

    • Just as you provide balance in their life by showing them it can be enjoyed, they provide you with gratitude for your own outlook.

    • It's OK, as with any friendship, to declare yourself in need of a time out. Take a few days off. Regroup.

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  • If, however, you find that your days are becoming more and more gray and your outlook more and more gloomy, know when to say when. We are required to love everyone, but that does not mean we have to be their bosom companion.

  • I had one dear friend that I had to cool off my friendship with. After a few years of almost daily contact, I began to realize the effect she was having on not only me, but indirectly on my family. Every time I saw her, I left feeling like I wanted to slit my wrists. As much as I wanted to continue our friendship and be a good influence on her, I was at that point in my life, just not strong enough to do it. The phone calls and visits became less frequent and I think she understood. Now, 30 years later, we are once again in contact with one another and enjoying each other's Facebook posts.

  • Eeyores will come and Eeyores will go. Just try to maintain your Pooh

  • “If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.”

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Becky Lyn is an author and a 35+ year (most of the time) single mom.


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