Rejection is a part of life. A common and painful part of life. Anyone who seeks to avoid rejection runs the risk of missing some of the richest parts of life. Accepting that rejection is part of life yet choosing to live life anyway requires you learn to deal with rejection.
Rejection comes in all shapes and sizes; none of which would be described as “fun sized.” Whether you have been rejected in a romantic relationship, you are facing professional rejections in sales, or your ideas have been rejected in a discussion, rejection is painful. The only difference is scale.
Here are some tips to help you cope with rejection in whatever form:
It’s not you
Whatever the reason for your being rejected, it wasn’t because of you. At least, it wasn’t because of the real you, the inner you, the fundamental you. Chances are good that the rejection you face had much more to do with the “rejector” than with you. Tell yourself that your sales pitch was rejected not because your pitch was flawed, but because the person to whom you pitched was too busy to hear it. Tell yourself that your boyfriend broke up with you, not because you are flawed, but because he wasn’t ready to make a commitment.
It will pass
When you face rejection, remind yourself that the pain of the rejection will pass. Not only will the pain pass, but the impact on your life will be short. When making sales calls, tell yourself that the next person will buy after each disappointment. When a relationship ends, assure yourself that there will be more and better relationships in the future; one ended relationship is not the end of the world.
It won’t impact anything else
When you face rejection, you may be tempted to think that rejection will ruin your entire life; that everything will go wrong, as a result. Nothing is further from the truth. A rejection in one area will likely have no impact on another. Remember that this particular rejection has a limited impact.
If a particular rejection has you really shaken and you find yourself in a funk for days, seek a distraction. Get a friend to help you take your mind off of your troubles for an evening so you can feel normal and happy again. Completely avoid talking about or thinking about the problem.
Schedule time to worry
If you are struggling to take your mind off of your problem, your worry — not the actual rejection — can begin to impact your life. Schedule time to think about and ponder the problem. Schedule it a few days out. Chances are that by the time you get to that date and time you won’t feel like worrying or pondering about it anymore and you can skip it altogether.
Devin Thorpe, husband, father, author of Your Mark On The World and a popular guest speaker, is a Forbes Contributor. Building on a twenty-five year career in finance and entrepreneurship that included $500 million in completed transactions, he now champions social good full time, seeking to help others succeed in their efforts to make the world a better place.