My husband is more committed to his sister and her daughter than to me.
My husband is more committed to his sister and her daughter than his wife? Help!!
Ramona Siddoway:People will listen and consider our words when they feel safe. You have a choice of either accepting things the way they currently are, or having a conversation with him about your frustrations.
1) When speaking with him about the situation begin with expressing what part of that arrangement you appreciate (or should appreciate), such as his loyalty to people he loves (his sister and her daughter), how he takes care of his extended family, his willingness to sacrifice for another's welfare, etc. Really look at and observe what is good about what he is doing. Be sincere.
2) don't make it a choice between his sister and you. I don't think that is what you are asking and even if he made you as his only choice and cut off his sister he may begin resenting you later on.
3) be prepared with specific ideas of how he can help you feel like you are number one. What is it about him helping his sister and her child that bothers you the most? Is it how long he is away? How often? What time of day or night? Does he cancel pre-agreed upon plans with you to run help her? Be specific but start out small, something doable that he won't feel like he is letting someone else down.
4) End the conversation on a positive note. Express your appreciation again, perhaps focusing on what he does for you. Be specific and sincere.
The best possible outcome is not an either/or but a scenario where he can still serve his old family but still make sure you feel you are number one. It takes time and patience on your part but it is very doable. Good luck!
pichachu:I know how it feels I experience same thing...It irritates me but I still love my husband that's why I just ignore it. I just focus myself on my work and on my children. Make the best of what you have... enjoy your life.... relax stay beautiful and everything will be okay
Tosin4God:Commit his heart unto the lord..Pray to God to touch his heart and all will be well.
Alyssa:I agree with Hopefulmom, talk to him. I would suggest that you make sure that you are very sensitive to the fact that you understand and encourage him to have a good strong relationship with his sister and his niece.
But, he needs to understand that you should be his number one, and you should come first. That being said don't purposefully take away time from his family, and let him know that you won't, and sometimes be the bigger person and let something you want go to accommodate your in-laws. If he sees that you are willing to give a little and you want to encourage that relationship, it will be easier for him to transition into making you the priority.
You should be the priority, and it is okay to expect that!
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